..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
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PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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