Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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