How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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