Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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