My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize