these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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