Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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