If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
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You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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