last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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