..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
a search helicopter?!
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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