it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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