Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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