I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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