My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize