Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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