Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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