hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
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at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
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So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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