he wants to bone in the snuggie
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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