you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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