Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I looked at my own cervix.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize