We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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