Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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