I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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