apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize