I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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