They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
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I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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