just come out here and I will go home with you...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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