We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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