I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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