the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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