I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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