And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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