He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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