And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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