I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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