it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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