am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize