I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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