there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize