Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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