would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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