hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize