I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
