my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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