ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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