Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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