Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
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She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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