My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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