Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize