Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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